- From the “Lord of the Flies” Department – A school in Florida is rethinking a few things after a “Hunger Games” styled summer camp seems to be bringing out the bloody-minded side of ‘tweens. Apparently a “capture the flag” game is being used by the children as an excuse to plan the horrible death of campmates. Cue the requisite amount of indrawn breath, reaching for smelling salts, and clutching at pearls as adults realize that the veneer of civilization is quite thin on children. Apparently these people never played cowboys and indians as a kid, nor have they ever watched a group of children left to their own devices. Also, see the “Thanksgiving Play” scene in “Addams Family Values“.
- From the “Dumbass” Department – A ‘playwright’ in New York is feeling a tad sheepish after a prop suicide vest he built in his apartment caused a police and bomb squad lockdown. It appears that Mr. Capote was working on the next “Oklahoma!” and thought that throwing his prop out in the garbage was a good idea. I think his punishment should be to stand on his street corner wearing another vest, this one emblazoned with “I’m a jerk!” on the front and back. In unrelated news, a couple in Florida has been arrested after they broke into a high school for an illicit tryst. Apparently after their ‘special time’, they decided to also break into vending machines for something to quench the “beer munchies”. Remember, kids, alcohol only enhances your personality. If you are a dumbass when you’re stone cold sober, you’re going to be a raging dumbass after a few beers.
- From the “Horses Head” Department – The sidewalk outside a bar in Nantucket was decorated recently with the carcass of a shark. The bar owner professes to have no idea who did it, and local officials are writing it off as a prank and sending the fish to be made into compost. I guess this is a good indicator of how laid back people in Nantucket are. If this kind of thing had happened in California or New York, it would probably have been investigated as terrorism or a hate crime. This incident also gets my mind working on a saucy limerick, but since I want to keep the site PG, I’ll let you all finish out the one that starts with “There once was a shark in Nantucket….”.
- From the “That’s My Jam!” Department – A man in Canada is reported to have developed synesthesia, a condition where the senses get jumbled, after suffering a stroke. It seems the gentleman can see colors when he hears certain sounds, and the James Bond theme gives him a feeling of extreme joy. I can relate. When I hear some of the ‘music’ that people listen to, I see red and feel nausea.
- From the “Solo and the Wookie!” Department – Sewer authorities in London recently found and removed a 15 ton lump of fat and wet wipes that was clogging up a sewer drain. Wow, that’s a lot of bacon grease and baby butts. It appears that the city will be putting in a stent, I mean patch, to fix damage caused by the glob. Apparently a campaign telling people to not flush baby wipes is in the offing.
- From the “Good For Them” Department – Japan has christened its newest warship, a destroyer that apparently can also be used as a landing platform for helicopters. Japan, along with Vietnam and the Philippines, is in a pissing match with China over several islands and mineral rights in some stretches of ocean. This ship is designated for maritime patrol and relief during natural disasters. There are those who shudder at a re-arming Japan, but I’d rather they had a little skin in the game when China and the rest of the world start sparring.
News Roundup
Posted by daddybear71 on August 6, 2013
https://daddybearsden.com/2013/08/06/news-roundup-199/
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DaddyBear
DaddyBear’s Den 
Old NFO
/ August 6, 2013Good ones, and the Japanese DO have skin, just not enough… But they’re working on it!
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