Today is the birthday of an Original Gangster American Badass, Samuel Whittemore.  This fine gentleman, at the ripe age of 80, proceeded to take on the British army armed only with the weapons he had in his home, gave better than he got, and survived to tell the tale.

Whittemore was in his fields when he spotted an approaching British relief brigade under Earl Percy, sent to assist the retreat. Whittemore loaded his musket and ambushed the British from behind a nearby stone wall, killing one soldier. He then drew his dueling pistols and killed a grenadier and mortally wounded a second. By the time Whittemore had fired his third shot, a British detachment reached his position; Whittemore drew his sword and attacked. He was shot in the face, bayoneted thirteen times, and left for dead in a pool of blood. He was found alive, trying to load his musket to fight again. He was taken to Dr. Cotton Tufts of Medford, who perceived no hope for his survival. However, Whittemore lived another 18 years until dying of natural causes at the age of 98.

Today, please raise a toast to the man who typifies my beliefs about Americans:  We’re a peaceful people, but raise a hand to harm us, and we’ll take your whole gorram arm off.