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News Roundup

  • From the “And The Band Played On” Department – The House of Representatives narrowly defeated an amendment to defense appropriation legislation that would have stripped funding from the NSA’s program of domestic surveillance.  You’ll recall that the NSA has worked with technology and telecommunications companies to vacuum up data on all communications in the United States, and some, including me, call that an eggregious violation of the public’s trust.  Now that we know which of our representatives are not with us, I look forward to someone in the Senate introducing a similar amendment to the legislation so we can know who in that august body stands on the side of the people and who stands on the side of an over-arching government surveillance state.
  • From the “Tuning Up the Fiddle” Department – The city council of Detroit, which recently became the largest city in U.S. history to declare bankruptcy, took a good chunk of its time in what most people would consider a crisis to draft, debate, and pass a resolution about the Martin-Zimmerman case in Florida.  Apparently fiddling while Detroit burns is considered a civic virtue in the Motor City.  In related news, the city council is putting off discussion of how they’re going to keep the city from imploding under the pressure of decades of mismanagement in favor of debating great taste versus less filling, Helvetica versus Comic Sans, and kerosene versus gasoline as an accelerant in burning down abandoned homes at Halloweentime.
  • From the “Only Ones” Department – A panel in Illinois, which is looking into allegations that members of the Chicago police department coerced and tortured confessions out of suspects in murder cases, has announced that several more people have been found to be convicted and imprisoned based on evidence gained through beatings and intimidation.  Most troubling to me is the propensity of these ‘peace officers’ to attack and exploit the mentally ill.  It is my sincere hope that the bottom of this particular cesspool is successfully plumbed, and that the people involved get justice, either by being released from prison due to police misconduct, or being thrown into prison for that misconduct.
  • From the “Never Let A Crisis Go To Waste” Department – Ohio governor Kasich is blaming the murders of women, whose bodies were recently found in Cleveland, on ‘poverty’.  You see, apparently when you have poor people, people get murdered and buried in a shallow grave wrapped in a plastic sheet.  It can’t be the fault of the piece of crap that killed these poor women, can it?  This wretched urchin couldn’t control himself, being poor himself.  So of course he stalked, killed, defiled, and discarded these people to work out his issues brought about by the abject ‘poverty’ of the American inner city.  I would remind the good governor that what we call poverty is considered unthinkable luxury by a huge portion of the human population, and that there have been poor people since there have been people, and I haven’t heard of epidemics of serial killers in the slums of Rome.  Then again, they had better ways of dealing with mad dogs who slaughtered young women in Rome, so maybe they were just better at this than we are.
  • From the “Shrinkage” Department – Former congressman Anthony Weiner has lost his impressive lead in the campaign to become the next mayor of New York City after revealing that he continued the scurilous behavior of sending nude pictures to women other than his wife even after being driven from office.  It’s not often that I agree with Nancy Pelosi on anything, but she hit it on the head when she said “The conduct of some of these people that we’re talking about here is reprehensible”.   I’m wondering what excuse Weiner will trot out this time to explain his behavior and abject stupidity.  Apparently “The Internet is forever” means nothing to this twit.
  • From the “Four Rules” Department – A man in England was killed recently when the zipper pull of his boot caught the trigger of his rifle and caused it to fire.  Remember, ladies and gentlemen, all it takes is a moment of inattention to cause tragedy.  Keep stuff, including fingers, away from the trigger, and be careful to not let the muzzle of a weapon go across anything you don’t want shot.
  •  From the “Sauce for the Gander” Department – A man in California has pled guilty to manslaughter in the death of an elderly man in a traffic accident.  What makes this a novel situation is that the death was not caused by a motorist, but rather by a cyclist.  The cyclist admits that he struck the man, but maintains that the light was yellow when he entered the intersection.  Having, at several points in my life, used a bicycle as a primary means of transport, it makes me cringe when I see cyclists blow through lights or stop signs, fail to signal, or cut between cars in traffic or through a crowd of pedestrians.  If you want to be respected in the same manner as those who use powered vehicles, you have to follow the laws of the road and accept responsibility when called out for not doing so.
  • From the “What Caliber?” Department – A CNN reporter misspoke the other day and avowed that people had hunted dildos to extinction as an example of our impact on the environment.  He quickly corrected himself, and changed his assertion that we had hunted the contraceptive sponge out of existence.
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8 Comments

  1. Old NFO's avatar

    Four rules also applies to those nicky neat little pull tab closures on the sides of jackets…

    Like

  2. Corey's avatar

    Corey

     /  July 26, 2013

    Ever time I here the name Wiener I giggle like a kid.

    Like

  3. pediem's avatar

    Even more from the “Tuning Up the Fiddle” Department…

    Detroit is still going to go ahead with plans for a $444 million hockey arena, and this was even approved by the emergency manager currently in place.

    Like

    • daddybear71's avatar

      I saw that. Detroit has at least 3 professional sports teams, and keeping their playing environments can’t be cheap. I’m wondering what a bankruptcy court will do with that.

      Like

  4. Brigid's avatar

    Sure, I want to go to downtown Detroit, to a sporting function just because it’s an expensive stadium. Maybe if they let me arrive in a tank and give me my own 50 cal.

    Like