- From the “First They Came For The Smokers” Department – In a new battle in its decades long fight to be the uber-parent to American children, the Food and Drug Administration is investigating the current fad of adding caffeine to such things as beverages, candy, and snacks. Their fears are that children may be imbibing too many stimulants in the course of the day, and that the demon caffeine may be wreaking havoc on their growing bodies. Let me save the taxpayer a few million dollars and say this: Caffeine, along with all of the sweeteners added to food to make caffeine palatable to children, is not good for them. If you don’t want your kids drinking, eating, chewing, snorting, or injecting massive amounts of stimulants, quit giving them to the youngsters and quit giving your kids enough money that they can afford to buy a super grande caffeinated sugar bomb at the local Stop-n-Stab. As for the ‘adults’ who drink 25 energy drinks and then wonder why they are having heart palpitations, my heart bleeds for you. I also have no sympathy for people who mix alcohol with large amounts of caffeine and then either get into car wrecks or develop alcohol poisoning because the caffeine masked the effects of the alcohol and they over-imbibed. There is one word for these kinds of behavior, and it’s ‘stupidity’. And remember kids, stupidity is supposed to be a capital offense, so let’s quit using the government as surrogate parents and requesting that they put up rubber baby buggy bumpers on the sharp points of life. One note – I have, on occasion, shared a cup of coffee (OK, milk with a dollop of coffee) with my kids as a social event. It’s a family tradition. Also, when Little Bear was teeny, his doctor prescribed not only caffeine, but also nicotine, to be added to his formula twice a day to keep his heart rate up. If a doctor says it’s OK and can explain why, I have no problem with parents making the conscious decision to give their kids things that would normally cause me to look at a parent and say “What are you thinking?”.
- From the “Hold My Beer” Department – Authorities in Oregon are investigating how a pick-up truck ended up 10 feet up in a tree. No injuries have been reported from the incident, and no-one can explain what happened. Sheriff Roscoe P. Coltrain has promised to continue his work to find the culprits ‘until the cows come home”. Local brothers Bo and Luke Duke have been brought in for questioning, but are said to have good alibis and are cooperating.
- From the “Where Great Britain Used To Be” Department – A Welsh woman has pled guilty to a hate crime stemming from her use of the phrase “English cow” to insult a woman who was having an affair with her father. Apparently British jurists haven’t read their Shakespeare, because old Will used quite a few insults that would have had him thrown into gaol these days. Heck, I’ve called people a few things here that would probably have put me into the stocks in England. Hopefully the woman who was attacked can get over her trauma, and the young woman learns that when you’re insulting someone, you insult the individual, not the group from which she hails.
- From the “Dumbass of the Day” Department – I usually don’t post about people dieing from stupidity here, but in this case I’ll make an exception. A man in Pennsylvania is dead after his wife negligently shot him during a drunken demonstration of gun safety. Apparently no-one ever told this guy that alcohol and gunpowder don’t mix. The story is that the man was pulling a gun out of a gun safe when his neophyte wife picked up a pistol, racked the slide, and the gun went off. It would appear that “Keep your booger hook off the bang switch” and “Point that thing at something other than me” didn’t get put into the lesson plan. Folks, it’s bad enough when we get blamed for things we didn’t do, so please stop doing things that can be used against us.
News Roundup
Posted by daddybear71 on April 30, 2013
https://daddybearsden.com/2013/04/30/news-roundup-187/
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7 Comments
DaddyBear
DaddyBear’s Den 
Gordon
/ April 30, 2013I LOL’d: “stupidity is supposed to be a capital offense”
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daddybear71
/ April 30, 2013🙂
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Corey
/ April 30, 2013My grandpa drank coffee from sun up to bed time so when I was little I wanted it to. I got that milk with a drop of coffee thing to except grandpa called it Roosevelt Cofee
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daddybear71
/ April 30, 2013I used to have ‘coffee’ with my grandma, and I’ve had it with all of my kids so far.
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auntiejl
/ April 30, 2013Large Fry once had liquid cocaine drops put in her nose (she was about three and a half). That was, however, after she stuffed a crack-popped kernel of popcorn into her nostril, and it got stuck. The moisture from her mucous membranes seeped into the kernel through the cracks, causing it to swell, and they used the liquid cocaine for its vasoconstrictive properties, hoping the kernel would pop back out. No such luck, and we got to go to see an ENT to get the thing out of her nose.
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Frank
/ May 1, 2013I watched a segment on the caffeine levels of different drinks, chewing gum, and the like last night, and the “reporter” was harping on the need for a minimum age of 18 for their purchase.
The next story was about the morning after pill now being available to 15 year old girls, by a Federal judge’s order.
Whiskey Tango Fawkstrawt.
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daddybear71
/ May 1, 2013Isn’t that ironic?
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