• If Senator Feinstein doesn’t want to feel patronized, then maybe she ought to know what she’s talking about.
• After the latest fiasco on a cruise ship, I’m leaning toward renting a beach house for a week instead.
  • Of course, I’d prefer to rent a cabin on a lake in the woods, but you do what you have to do for your loving spouse.
• I missed being a witness to a semi going over on its side by about two minutes this morning.
  • Sequence of images – black lines on the pavement, broken glass on the pavement, semi-truck and trailer on the pavement, all within 100 feet.
  • The driver looked OK as he came out of the cab.
  • The truck and trailer?   Yeah, not so much.
• 2/3 of the lights in the bathroom are now working.
  • One hour to find a loose connection.  That’s a new personal best.
  • I also need to find my smallest screwdriver so I can change the battery in my multimeter.
• Thought for the KCR Machine Gun Shoot –
  • The range has a breakfast buffet on Saturday morning starting at 7 AM.
  • There is a Cracker Barrel about 20 minutes from the range.
  • Would everyone prefer to meet at the range and eat what they serve or meet at the Cracker Barrel?  If we eat at the range, we will be there for the opening ceremony and probably miss most of the initial parking crowd.
  • Weather permitting, of course.
  • If we meet at KCR, I suggest gathering at the flag pole.
  • The range sells hot dogs and such for lunch, but it’s going to be kind of hard to talk once the range goes hot.
  • Those who think they’re going to make it on Saturday, April 13, please leave me your preferences in comments.
• I’m already starting to schedule work for the weekends in April.
• Irish Woman needs a break.
  • She was home alone with Boo yesterday when he wasn’t feeling well and she had to work.
  • She was home alone with Boo today for half the day when the plumbing at his school developed a rather catastrophic leak (Outside, thank goodness).  Yes, she had to work today as well.
  • Either she’s stressed out or she’s been bitten by a very powerful werewolf
  • Darn it, I’m out of silver bullets.  I wonder if bi-metal jacket is just as good?
• Ever notice there are never tee-shirts for SIGINTers?  There are tee-shirts for infantry, armor, aviation, artillery, and just about everything else.  Heck, there’s even a tee-shirt for interrogators now.  But there’s never one for the poor guy who walks all over the mountains with a PRD-11?
• There isn’t a much better way to end the day than sitting and watching old episodes of the Muppet Show with your four-year-old.

• One should not use the word “monkey” and “football” when describing someone else’s project plan.
• You leave an Irish Woman alone with lumber and tools, and you come home to a new set of shelves installed in the bathroom.
• My test results from my physical came back.
  • At least physically, I’m normal.
• I had an idea for a fictional story entitled “Valley of the Fudds” today.  I may have to put some work into that.
• I have decided that I do not like the new car smell anymore.  The smell of solvents and paint just seems to turn my stomach.
  • I’m too used to driving vehicles that smell of coffee and old oil.
• The cost for the picket fence I’m going to put up once the weather turns in the next week or two is going to be around $500, plus my time.
  • To put that in perspective, I only paid $200 for my first automobile.
• I wish the weather would make up its mind.  Every joint in my body is throbbing, and every time I move it sounds like I stepped on a section of bubble wrap.

The Prayer of Saint Francis of Assissi

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury,pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Amen

Habemus Papam

• Remember that rain I mentioned the other night?  It rained pretty much all day yesterday and into the night.
  • Guess who forgot to roll up the driver’s window on his truck Sunday afternoon?
  • Guess who found that on Tuesday morning when he left for work?
  • Perkele
• Note to co-worker:  “Send me a meeting notice for the planning session” does not mean “Send me a completed schedule with my tasks highlighted.”
  • No, really, it’s OK.  I didn’t have anything else planned that weekend.
• I have decided that I do not care for pear hard cider.
  • I like pears, and I like hard cider.  But pear hard cider is weak and flavorless.
• Am I going to hell for making sarcastic remarks about the people who were calling into the easy-listening call-in show on the radio tonight?
  • Caller – “Hi, I’d like to dedicate “I Will Always Love You” to my ex.  She cheated on me with a Marine scout-sniper platoon, gave me three kinds of STD, and put me desperately in debt while I was deployed, but I just can’t get her out of my mind”
  • Me – “Dude, the best thing that ever happened to you was for you to find out how big a psycho hosebeast she was.  Quit carrying the torch for her, touch it to the pile of wood she’s tied to, and quit being such a @#$!!@”
  • Maybe I should have my own  call-in advice show.  “DaddyBear tells you what you need to hear, along with the hits of the 70’s, 80’s, and 90’s, tonight on ‘Smarten Up, You Dolt!'”

#!/usr/bin/ksh

while true

do

#Remind yourself of the base rules when dealing with other people

echo “All people have the right to hold their own convictions and opinions, no matter how much I disagree or how much they piss me off.” >> /dev/brain/controlcenter

echo “Just because you disagree with someone doesn’t make them a weak-willed, ignorant, poorly educated, badly bred, and horribly raised troglodyte.” >> /dev/brain/controlcenter

#Silently let off a bit of steam

echo “You, sir, are the unholy spawn of a coupling between a Tazmanian dwarf walrus and an Armenian hairless yak.  You should be coated in rancid strawberry jam and left to be nibbled to death by pigmy koala bears in the midday sun!” >> /dev/null 2>&1

echo “play_earworm /memory/longterm/music/soothing/Eine_Kleine_Nachtmuzik.mp3” >> /dev/brain/auditory/input

sleep 30

#End the conversation and get back to work.

echo “Well, I guess we’ll have to agree to disagree.  Good day, sir!”

echo

done

exit 0

• I traded in the Caravan today, but I shall forever be the Minivandian.
• We ended up buying the car we test drove on Saturday.
  • It’s amazing how easy it is to drive a new, small car after driving my old, broken-down truck for a few months.
  • Irish Woman is getting used to driving a stick again.
  • Girlie Bear saw the car and had absolute happiness in her eye.  Apparently she believes that eventually the shiny new car will be hers to drive.
    • Of course, by then, it will have scratches, scuffs, door dings, and a worn-out engine, if it happens at all.
• Today was the least stressful experience I’ve ever had in buying a new car.
  • It’s nice to walk into the dealership with your financing taken care of, have the price for the car you want to be pretty much set in stone, and work directly with a sales manager.
• While we waited for all the paperwork to be drawn up, we window shopped in the show room.
  • Remember what I said about how expensive pickups were?  They have nothing on luxury SUV’s.
  • The dealership taunted me by having the truck I want in the configuration I want at a reasonable price.  Here’s hoping they have something like that when I come back in a few years.
• It’s kind of nice to read a book and see the names of friends doing extraordinary things.
• Taking a 4 year old to a pizza buffet and watching him try to make up his mind of which one he wanted to devour first is one of the more fun things I have done lately.
• You know, I wish I was surprised that when I tuned the TV to a network dedicated to programming for young children, the most common advertisement was a trashy, over-sexed commercial for the St. Patrick’s Day from a chain of liquor stores.
• Tomorrow, my primary task will be to drive around the airplanes and not hit the airplanes.

• I need to do a better job checking my schedule.
  • I thought I had to start work at 7 this morning, but it was really 8.
• In the bathroom update, I am batting .333 on first time success in getting lights to work.
• DaddyBear Rain Spell – Wash the minivan so that it can be traded in.
• Boo gave us a scare this afternoon when he disappeared from playing on the porch.
  • We found him in the truck, moving all the knobs on the radio and climate control.
  • Honestly, we only found him because he started honking the horn and giggling like a fiend.
  • 30 more seconds would have meant a call to the police.
• Why did I have to look at new trucks yesterday?  I’ve been haunting the local dealerships’ websites all evening, even though I know I won’t be buying a new truck for at least two years.
• I think spring has sprung.
  • At least I hope so.  The fruit trees are going to bud out in a few more days of this warmth, and a freeze would destroy the entire crop.