- From the “Look at me! Look at me!” Department – North Korea has decided to take its semi-yearly temper tantrum and crank it up to 11. The communist government has cut the communications link that connects it with the South Korean government and has put its rocket forces on a war footing. Kim Jong Un, the new leader of the worker’s paradise, has appeared in photographs in front of maps that show North Korean missiles targeting Guam, Hawaii, and cities on the American mainland. South Korea and the United States are currently in the middle of a military exercise, which the North claims are preparations for war. Officials are concerned that Kim Jong Junior might have cranked things up so far that he can’t back down for fear of looking like even more of a jackass. I’d suggest that pamphlets be blown over the demilitarized zone telling the North Koreans that if they don’t back down, then they’ll be in deep kimchi. Of course, considering the diet of the average North Korean, that might not sound so bad. Personally, I don’t think he’s got what it takes to pull the trigger. You hear that, you inbred, bucktoothed, moonfaced son of an illegitimate psychopath? You don’t have the balls to launch those missiles. I don’t even believe they’re real. I dare you to cross the 38th parallel. No, I double dog dare you. You don’t have a hair on your butt if you don’t start lobbing No Dong’s into the Sea of Japan by sunset tomorrow, you big wuss.
- From the “Cry Me A River” Department – The lawyer for a man who was convicted of luring a 15 year old girl to a vacant house and assisting in her rape by multiple assailants is crying foul after his client was sentenced to 25 years in prison. Apparently, the other people involved in the crime pled guilty and were given less prison time. The judge seems to have taken into account the fact that the man knew the victim, enticed her to the scene of the crime, and helped commit the crime. All I can say is that he’s lucky to be alive and not have pieces lopped off. Yes, he didn’t actually rape the victim, but if he hadn’t have participated, then she wouldn’t have been raped. The answer to someone getting more time for a crime than his accomplices is not to reduce his sentence, but to stop handing out less time to the others.
- From the “She’s a Very Freaky Girl” Department – A woman in South Carolina has caught the ire of her neighbors after decorating her yard with baby dolls that have been staged to look like they are being executed or tortured. You know, I always thought Tuesday and Morticia Addams were compelling female roles too.
- From the “Dumbasses in the News” Department – A TSA worker at JFK Airport in New York ‘accidentally’ sprayed his co-workers with pepper spray from an object that he found and thought was a laser pointer. You know, it’s always a good idea to pick up random objects that you think will shoot out a coherant beam of light and point it at your co-workers while trying to activate it. I guess if you want to cripple American passenger air travel all you have to do is seed the security checkpoints with shiny objects that disable the TSA agents. In other news, a television commentator, who was sitting on a panel of pundits discussing the squeaky-round-ball tournament, stepped on his schwanz by saying that he was only there to give a “white man’s” perspective. The rest of the panel appears to have been made up of people whose ancestors hailed from Africa. After social media lost its collective shit, the commentator apologized and admitted he was stupid. Rumors that have been reported to me say that he has been nicknamed “Token” by his peers, and will soon be receiving a phone call from President Obama expressing how overjoyed he is to see the color barrier in basketball punditry broken. And finally, a Congressman from Alaska has come under fire for using the perjorative term “wetbacks” to describe the Mexican laborers who worked on his families tomato farm when he was growing up. The congressman has apologized and said that he meant no disrespect. He states that he bears no prejudice toward Hispanics, and that there is no room for bigotry or discrimination in his heart, for he dislikes everyone equally.
News Roundup
Posted by daddybear71 on March 29, 2013
https://daddybearsden.com/2013/03/29/news-roundup-182/
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DaddyBear
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bikergranny2
/ March 29, 2013Might I suggest mandatory vaccinations to prevent the spread of the Political Correctness disease running rampant through our land?
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Old NFO
/ March 29, 2013If the shoe fits… 🙂
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