- From the “No Velociraptor For You!” Department – Scientists are arguing the ethics of resurrecting extinct species, but apparently dinosaurs are right out. So, while the Peruvian death mosquito and Romanian plague rat are brought back, my back yard will be bereft of extinct therapods. Now how am I going to keep those darn coyotes out of the yard?
- From the “Consequences, Schmoncequences” Department – The fees on federal student loans are increasing slightly as a result of the ongoing sequester. Apparently improving efficiency in the bureaucracy that has mushroomed since the government took over most student loans was out of the question. Yes, it’s not much more money, but when you’re a starving student, a bigger fee hurts. Of course, the fact that the federal government is involved in a transaction between a private citizen and the university they attend is wrong, but we’ll leave that for another talk. I guess all those students who voted for Obama to strike a blow against The Man are yet again learning that they themselves are The Man.
- From the “Your Tax Dollars At Work” Department – The U.N. recently held a conference where anti-gun organizations got a chance to sit down with African government officials to ‘educate’ them about upcoming negotiations on a treaty to curtail civilian access to small arms. Because, you know, no-one is more receptive to ideas that guarantee a human being’s right to self-defense, even against oppressive governments, than African dictators. I know, other countries contribute to the U.N., but do you think the Manhattan Third World Debate Club and Deli would cut back on caviar and hookers so that they could hold these shindigs if we walked away from them?
- From the “Foundlings” Department – A family in South Carolina had a bit of a surprise the other day when the box they found on the side of the road was not filled with the expected litter of puppies. Rather, it contained three black bear cubs. Now, how does one get the gumption to touch that box without being 100% sure that Mama Bear isn’t in the bushes doing what bears do in the woods? The cubs are said to be doing well, and have already been signed by Hamms beer for the 2016 football season commercials.
- From the “Oopsie!” Department – A New York assemblyman, who has voted against legalization of marijuana for medical uses, was arrested recently after police allegedly found a quantity of the cursed weed on him during a traffic stop. Apparently he needed to take the edge off after a week of keeping New Yorkers safe from one of his habits.
- From the “Dumbass” Department – A man in Wisconsin was arrested after the people who were working on his printer found sheets of counterfeit bills jammed in it. When the man was arrested, police allege that he had several more counterfeit bills on him. Here’s a hint – If you’re using your home printer to counterfeit money, learn to clear your own paper jams.
- From the “Booze Buddy” Department – A company in California is coming up with a device that will allow smart phone users to gauge their blood alcohol levels. They hope that if people know how drunk they are, the less they will drink and drive. This brings back memories of a gadget that was mounted on the wall of the bowling alley in Augsburg. You put in a couple of quarters, the machine would turn on and dispense a short plastic straw. You stuck the straw into a hole in the machine and blew. It would then read out your BAC. Instead of using it to get an idea if we were safe to drive, it became a measure of who was the most inebriated, with the winner buying the next round. I am proud to say that I bought more than a few rounds of beer at that bowling alley.
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News Roundup
Posted by daddybear71 on March 15, 2013
https://daddybearsden.com/2013/03/15/news-roundup-178/
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3 Comments
DaddyBear
DaddyBear’s Den 
julie
/ March 16, 2013… shakes head …
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falnfenix
/ March 16, 2013funny thing, about dinosaur resurrection..
Jack Horner has been talking about that in various places.
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Old NFO
/ March 16, 2013Gotta admit, those are some of the ‘stranger’ ones… 🙂
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