At the exact moment that the Iranians became part of the Nuclear Club, the “object” that North Korea had launched into orbit a few weeks earlier, which had been pronounced as “dead weight” that was spinning out of control, exploded over the South Pacific.  It’s yield was about 20 kilotons, comparable to the bombs used on Japan in 1945.  This action destroyed a significant portion of the GPS constellation, either destroyed or fried several other satellites, and caused significant damage to the International Space Station, resulting in the death of a Japanese astronaut and injuries or radiation poisoning to the rest of the crew.

The electromagnetic pulse it emitted caused power disruptions and damage to ships across a wide swath of Micronesia, New Zealand, and eastern Australia.  If there can be any luck in nuclear explosions, we got lucky in that it didn’t go off over Europe or North America.  Even with that,  the damage done was ugly.  Even though most of the impacted nations were able to recover quickly, in the weeks it took to bring power and communications systems on-line, lots of people died because of loss of medical equipment, sanitation facilities, and water and food distribution mechanisms.  I guess it says a lot for the human race that wide-spread unrest due to these disruptions weren’t noted in any of the impacted countries, which surprised a lot of pundits who predicted anarchy.

Just like their Iranian counterparts, the North Koreans immediately took to the airwaves.  They declared solidarity with the Iranians and promised to rain death and destruction down upon the rest of the world if they or Iran were attacked. Interestingly enough, the announcement of the “test”, as they called it, and their intentions to utilize such weapons if the “provocations” of South Korea and the United States did not stop was not given by their Supreme Leader.  A grim-faced general, his chest bedecked with medals, gave the address.  Since then, there has been a lot of speculation about why that was.  The most common theory is that the young leader of the DPRK had decided that going full on nuclear saber-rattling in support of the Mullahs wasn’t such a good idea, and his generals had decided that he wasn’t destined by heaven to lead the glorious people’s revolution anymore.  But I guess we’ll never know, because a nuclear attack against an allied nation didn’t sit well with the United States.

Even the President, who was well-known for bowing to dictators and being as confrontational as a slow Loris, couldn’t ignore the ASEAN treaty, which Australia and New Zealand invoked as soon as the dust started to settle.  Even though there wasn’t a lot of damage or loss of life from the detonation over the South Pacific, most of what did occur happened in New Zealand and the heavily populated east coast of Australia.  It just so happened that an American carrier group was steaming into Sidney for a port call at the time, and while military electronics are hardened against EMP, they didn’t come away unscathed.   Members of Congress immediately began clambering for a United States response, and even the most liberal of the media had their war talk on when the morning news programs came on the next morning.  The President made another appearance on TV, again from Undisclosed Location, assuring the American population that all was well and that he had things in hand.  Another naval task force was on its way to Australia, New Zealand, and the rest of the South Pacific to provide aid where it was needed.

The President acknowledged that the Iranians and North Koreans were probably in collusion as to the timing of the explosions, and he officially called on them to immediately stand down their nuclear programs and allow in international personnel to dismantle them.  He set a deadline of four days for them to agree to this and halt the bombardment of Israel.  Needless to say, the deadline came and went without any word from Tehran, Pyongyang, or Damascus.  Israel, of course didn’t wait to launch their air war against Assad.  The President asked that Congress reconvene, and every Senator and Representative who had left for their home states for Christmas returned to Washington.

Bowing to public clamor and political pressure, the President, probably the most eloquent speaker of his generation, came to the Congress for a declaration of war at noon of Christmas Eve.  He invoked Lincoln and Franklin Roosevelt, talked of a second Pearl Harbor, and for once got both parties in Congress to cooperate.  The Senate went 96 to 4 for war, with the House voting 430 to 5.  Ominously, the Russian and Chinese ambassadors were in the gallery for the votes and were among those clapping when the results were announced.

I guess eventually records of why the North Koreans decided to double down on stupid will be found, but that probably won’t be during my lifetime.  While the President was still trying to figure out an appropriate response, they started getting more missiles ready at their launch site.  That pretty much sealed the deal for them.  Before they could get the fueling trucks off the pad, several American submarines, bombers, and ICBM’s turned most of the important parts of North Korea into ash.  No-one knows if the leadership survived the strikes, because the known and expected entrances to their underground complexes were hit at least once with nuclear weapons.  It really doesn’t matter how strong and deep your bunker is if it’s buried under a few thousand tons of radioactive rubble.  Conventional weapons were used against the known marshaling areas for their ground and air forces, ammunition depots, and rail yards.  The Air Force apparently learned a little something from 1950, and studiously ignored the area directly to the south of the Yalu River, which either gave China no excuse to become involved, or gave them wiggle room with their domestic constituency as to why they weren’t helping their communist brethren.

The Chinese and Russians expressed concern about all this, but didn’t make too much of a protest, and the Chinese took the opportunity to move “relief and peacekeeping forces” into the areas surrounding the border.  These forces acted as a blocking force against the millions of people who immediately tried to escape to the north, and let’s be honest, the Chinese weren’t unhappy about gaining a little territory.  South Korea waited it out, and when the North Korean border troops pretty much melted into the hills, sent convoys full of food north.  They weren’t exactly hailed as liberating heroes, but neither were they attacked for their efforts.  The Australians offered to be the occupation army for North Korea, but cooler heads prevailed before a few thousand pissed off Aussies were sent to make sure the scarecrows that were found in the villages and cities got food for the rest of the winter.