- From the “KITT” Department – The transportation department appears to be poised to mandate the inclusion of data recorders, or “black boxes” on all passenger vehicles. These devices are already in use on a lot of cars, but the new rules would mandate them and also mandate an expanded amount of data they would gather for analysis after an accident. Just another reason that my dream vehicle is a 1971 Ford pickup. Yeah, it’ll look like crap and need almost constant maintenance, but I’ll know how to do more than half of that maintenance and the darn thing can’t be called as a witness in a lawsuit.
- From the “Bottoms Up” Department – A Japanese study has found that a substance found in hops may be beneficial to children suffering from RSV and adults with a cold. However, the study cautions that an adult would have to drink 30 beers to get the recommended dose of humulone. I see nothing wrong with that. Drinking myself into a stupor when I feel like crap is never a bad idea. At least now I can claim that it’s for my health.
- From the “Trust in Me” Department – The state of Florida is planning a contest for who can kill the biggest wild Burmese python and who can kill the highest number of the wriggly rascals. I see a bad TV reality show in the immediate future, complete with the suburban guy who wants to show he’s a man, the redneck who knows what he’s doing, and the PETA protester who mysteriously disappears right after discovering a nest of the things out in the Everglades.
- From the “Freedom to Choose” Department – The legislature of Michigan has approved a bill that would prohibit union shops from requiring that workers join the union, and the governor has indicated that he will sign the bill into law. Basically, it’s saying that if you want to pay dues to the union, you can, but if you don’t want to, no-one can break your knees, figuratively or literally, over it and expect to be protected by the law. Of course, unionists are losing their collective cool over it, with Democratic legislators being described as “livid” that their constituents can now decide on their own whether or not they want to pay dues out of their salaries. They also seem to be angry that Michigan is going to be more competitive when it comes to attracting jobs. Apparently losing good paying jobs has been part of the state Democratic parties platform for two generations, and it’s hard to let tradition go.
- From the “Allegory” Department – A large whale carcass is sitting on a beach in Malibu, California, and local agencies are in a pissing match over who will get the choice assignment of getting rid of it. Basically, a stinking corpse has washed up on the doorstep of the rich liberals who live there, and they want something done about it. The evil partisan corner of my mind snickers at this. They’ve foisted a stinking corpse of a presidency upon the rest of us while they stay comfortable little Eloi, so I say let the darn thing stay there until it’s a grease spot on the sand.
- From the “Dumbass” Department – A man in New York has been arrested after shooting his girlfriend over whether or not zombies are real. Apparently he was so upset over her not believing that it could be possible for the dead to rise and feed upon the living that he went and got his gun to make a point. I wish him luck, because he’s about to learn that, although zombies might not be real, there are indeed monsters in the world.
- From the “Eau de Napoli” Department – Pizza Hut Canada is introducing its own perfume, which is reported to smell like a hot pizza. You know, I’ve been around people who smelled like garlic and cheese, and it’s not something I would promote. Hopefully this doesn’t catch on.
News Roundup
Posted by daddybear71 on December 7, 2012
https://daddybearsden.com/2012/12/07/news-roundup-163/
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2 Comments
DaddyBear
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Corey
/ December 7, 2012I seem to remember a few years ago a whale washed up in Australia. Their navy blew it up. No fuss no muss. Cool video though.
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Old NFO
/ December 7, 2012Love the whale on Malibu… Now Streisand has company! 😀
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