- From the “Something Sphinx” Department – Mohammed Morsi, member of the Muslim Brotherhood, president of Egypt, and internationally honored sheep pimp, has announced that until a new parliament is elected, his decrees are beyond judicial review. Basically, until the people of Egypt are given the chance to elect new representation, he’ll just be holding the reigns of state without any help from those pesky judges. He, of course, promises to give back power at a later date. This is one of the classic promises that never seem to get fulfilled, along with “The check is in the mail”, “I will withdraw from this newly conquered territory once peace is established”, and “I only want to cuddle.”.
- From the “My Favorite Year” Department – The U.S. and Russian space agencies have announced the names of two men who will be spending a year on the International Space Station to see how the human body and mind deal with long voyages in space. Subjects to be studied include how the human body is changed by weightlessness for such a long time, whether an American fan of the original Star Trek can live with a Russian fan of Deep Space Nine, and whether or not these two skilled spacefarers can share a space station without driving each other crazy.
- From the “Tape and Time” Department – Revelers at the Thanksgiving Day Parade in New York were surprised to find that some of the confetti being dropped on them came from a local police department. The poorly shredded paper appears to reveal the names of police officers, their Social Security numbers, and details from arrest reports. There is no word on whether or not the police chief and his staff had been up late the previous evening preparing for a federal investigation. In unrelated news, two representatives from an office equipment supply company were found hanging upside down from the George Washington bridge. Law enforcement is investigating.
- From the “Can’t Fix Stupid” Department – An man in New York is trying to avoid being put to death for the murder of two police officers. His tactic is to claim that he is too unintelligent to be executed. Apparently being as sharp as a sack of wet mice makes your veins impervious to needles or something. Talk about a disincentive to doing well in school. “You better stop working so hard in math class, young man, or you might be held responsible for your actions one day.” Thank goodness my oldest son hadn’t heard of this when he was in high school. That kid needed another reason to slack off like he needed another hole in his head.
News Roundup
Posted by daddybear71 on November 26, 2012
https://daddybearsden.com/2012/11/26/news-roundup-162/
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2 Comments
DaddyBear
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Old NFO
/ November 26, 2012Re the last one, can we say PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY??? Fry his ass…
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daddybear71
/ November 26, 2012NFO, you know people can’t be held responsible for their actions before age 30. In this case, I blame society. And by society, I guess it’s all our fault.
Choke, cough. Sorry couldn’t say that with a straight face.
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