- From the “Get A Rope” Department – Two men in Louisiana are under arrest and charged with animal cruelty and violations of hunting regulations. The men are specifically charged with shooting deer without a license, from a vehicle, while said vehicle is on a road, after dark. In addition to that, they shot someone’s dog while they did it. Assuming that the men are guilty as charged, I hope the judge throws the book, as well as the bookcase the book sat in, at these two yutzes. Crap like this is one of the reasons that it’s so hard to get people to let considerate hunters hunt on private land. It also paints a bad picture of hunters and gun owners to everyone else.
- From the “No Good Deed….” Department – A bartender in San Fransisco was cleaning up his bar recently when he found a cell phone someone had left behind. Apparently this isn’t that big a deal, but when he tried to figure out whose it was, it had no SIM and no way to unlock it. He showed it to someone, who figured out that it was an example of a yet unreleased cell phone from Google. After alerting Google that their prototype had been left in a bar, the friend and the bartender had a run-in with the “Google Police”, which I take to mean that they were threatened with huge civil penalties if they breathed a word to anyone about what they had found. Eventually, the phone was returned to Google. If it had been me, it would have gone back in about 50 small sandwich bags, component by component, after I caught grief from the mega-corporation that lost the bloody thing in the first place. I seem to remember us doing the same thing with the Mig fighter that a Soviet pilot used to defect with during the Cold War, and I would want it to have the same effect.
- From the “Useless Endeavor” Department – Secretary of State Clinton, along with her European Union counterparts, is leaning on the governments of Kosovo, Serbia, and Bosnia Herzegovina to try to get them to start cooperating more and fighting less. Apparently the crowning achievement of her husband’s foreign policy, the Dayton Accords, didn’t do much more than get the three-cornered fight in Bosnia to stop being a shooting war. The Serbs still don’t like the Muslims and the Croats, and the other two share not only animosity toward the Serbs, but also don’t care for each other. The Serbs and Kosovars aren’t exactly chums either, so that 1999 air war that gave a copy of our stealth bomber to the Chinese seems to have done not much more than stop the shooting, if only for a generation or two. I suggest that Secretary Clinton go to Sarajevo and Belgrade, try the local slivovitz, and get the heck out of dodge before the next shooting war flares up. I predict it will happen about 8 seconds after a new generation of Serbs, Croats, Muslims, and Kosovars reaches military age in 2014 or 2015.
- From the “Someone Needs A Hug” Department – A man in Florida is under arrest after making online threats to blow up his neighborhood and a school. Apparently Mr. Rogers had been the target of frequent complaints about noise and believed that his neighbors had killed his dog. As I look around my little village, I can say I’m happy that we can work out our difference without the use of high explosives. We reserve those for demolition and entertainment.
- From the “Sea Kittens” Department – A California woman is asking that the city of Irvine erect a sign memorializing the truckload of fish that died when the truck got into an accident. The city has declined the request. I’m sure that PETA, an organization for which the woman volunteers, will go ahead with their own pescetarian vigil, complete with speeches about how fish are people too. I can see their point. I also love all the creatures under heaven, including fish. I guess the difference is that I love my fish with wide cut fried potatoes and malt vinegar. And people wonder why I never moved back to California.
- From the “Darth Mickey” Department – George Lucas, creator of both Luke Skywalker and Howard the Duck, has sold his companies to Disney for over four billion dollars. Disney will now control LucasFilm, Industrial Light and Magic, and Skywalker Sound, as well as the rights to the Star Wars and Indiana Jones franchises. Disney also announced plans to release at least three more Star Wars films. My sources advise me that Episode 7 will be entitled “The Quest for the Unholy Abomination”, which will entail what happens after Return of the Jedi, and will include new characters like Goofinimus, the illegitimate offspring of Jar Jar Binks, who has worked in a spice mine for 30 years, and Princess Minnia, a diminutive lass with a high squeaky voice. For those of you who can hear that high-pitched keening, it’s my childhood being violated in ways both unholy and unwholesome.
News Roundup
Posted by daddybear71 on October 30, 2012
https://daddybearsden.com/2012/10/30/news-roundup-156/
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5 Comments
DaddyBear
DaddyBear’s Den 
ZerCool
/ October 30, 2012Same thing Apple did with a lost iPhone: http://news.cnet.com/8301-13579_3-20099899-37/apple-loses-another-unreleased-iphone-exclusive/
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Old NFO
/ October 30, 2012Actually, we disassembled the MIg, then put it back together and shipped it back to them! 🙂
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Lazy Bike Commuter
/ October 30, 2012As long as they can keep George Lucas far enough away from Star Wars, they can probably do some really good stuff with the franchise.
Just look at The Avengers.
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daddybear71
/ October 30, 2012I need to watch that one. Of course, I only saw the first Ironman and none of the other Marvel superhero movies, so I see a marathon sometime in my future.
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Drang
/ October 30, 2012Re: the “Useless Endeavor” Department: Cue Tom Lehrer.
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