Here are the movies that were previewed before our film today:

• Girl Versus Monster – I paid $28 for our tickets and and other $20 for sodas and popcorn, and I got to sit through a commercial for a Disney channel made-for-TV movie.  Apparently one of the pop tarts that has a series on the channel of the billionaire rat is a monster hunter, and we should all watch her movie about it when it premieres this month, or at least catch it on one of the approximately 10^28 times it will air before Halloween.  Someone at the House of Mouse owes Larry Correia a check.
• Rise of the Guardians – Looks very pretty, but is the world really ready for a sword-wielding Santa with a Russian accent and a tacticool Easter Bunny from Australia?  We’ll probably be going to see this one, if for no other reason than it’s a Christmas movie and I love my wife enough to suffer through Christmas movies.
• Despicable Me II – We love the original, the trailer, in which the minions sing “Barbara Ann”, was good enough to get me to want to see it, and we have a small boy whom we spoil terribly.  Yeah, we’ll be paying to see this one.
• Wreck it Ralph – Disney film about a video game bad guy from a 1980’s arcade game that decides that there’s more to life than knocking down buildings so the hero has something to fix.  The trailer had more references to and characters from classic video games than a con.  We’ll probably go see this one as a treat.
• Smurfs II – If someone wants to burn the truck that delivers this movie to the theaters, I’ve got a spare can of gas you can use.
• Here Comes The Boom – An out of shape middle aged high school teacher tries to raise $50,000 to save the arts programs at his school by getting his ass beat in MMA competitions.  Pass, unless Selma Hayek, who plays the female love interest, chips in by becoming a stripper.