DaddyBear the Minivandian settled back into his work stool, a cup of hot witches brew in one hand and the latest scroll of knowledge in his other.  As he began reading the new incantation it contained, his magic elf box rang softly, telling him that he had a new missive awaiting his attention.

Knotting his mighty brow, the Minivandian bid the box of elven sorcery to display the message.  It appeared to be from his leader.

Minivandian, our mighty Khan, may his path be made wide and flat, has decreed that I must speak with you about your performance as the office barbarian and as a keeper of the magic elf boxes.  I desire that you should reply to this message with a listing of your mighty achievements since the day where sunlight equaled the night.  I also require that you list the goals you shall try to accomplish before the snows melt and waters run clear and cold again.   I shall expect to see you in my chamber two hours after midday.

DaddyBear thought long and hard about this, for it had been a long and contentious summer.  Finally, he breathed deep, placed his hands upon the elven board of keys, and began to list out his many adventures:

• Exercised Exorcised many imps from magic elf boxes, including some rather ugly ones that crept in with new hardware.
• Slayed mighty dragons on multiple occasions, which always seemed to begin their attacks during a period of rest.
• Negotiated a treaty of good will with the masters of the flying beasts on how they will and will not utilize the magic elven boxes.
• Refrained from defenestrating the gnomes of the middle lands when they were caught opening the magic elf boxes to evil incantations.
• Taught the gnomes the proper incantations to prevent future danger to the magic elf boxes from such evil spells.
• Successfully instructed a cohort of companions on the proper care and use of bladed weapons while working around the flying beasts.

The Minivandian leaned back on his stool and thought about these good times.  His summer had indeed been interesting.  Looking further into himself, he began to think of those things he wished to do and improve:

• Refrain from cursing the ancestors of co-workers in the common tongue.
  • Cursing their ancestors in orcish, however, will be acceptable and probably more effective.
  • Current score – 2, Goal  – 1
• Refrain from skinning vendors who sell him the wrong vials of magic blue smoke for the mystical elven boxes and using their hides to decorate the room of meeting.
  • Current score – 10, Goal – 5
• Complete four quests with the wizards of continuing education.
  • These should be in areas outside of the ordinary, so no classes on the use of massed Berserkers or siegecraft.
  • Current score – 1, Goal – 4
• Refrain from arguing with the guardian of the portal to the place of the flying beasts that a two-handed battle-axe is simply a necessary tool for work.
  • Current score  – 10, Goal – 7.
• Work on people skills.  Smile more, and not the “Skin Poncho” smile either.
  • Current score  – 0, Goal  – 5

DaddyBear the Minivandian looked upon these lists, and saw that they were worthy of his leader’s review.  Just then, he heard the high-pitched keening of a co-worker who had just been tasked with slaying a wyrm.  Grabbing Gnarlthing, his mighty blade, the Minivandian strode down the corridor to help, a smile upon his mighty countenance.  He fought valiantly against the wyrm, and came back for his personnel review covered in both glory and wyrm blood.

My lord the Minivandian went on to have many quests and adventures, and when he finally laid down his sword and shield, he could look back on a good life.  But those are stories for another time.  Now, let me tell you tales of high adventure…..