- From the ‘I Wish I Were An Oscar Meyer Vibrator” Department – The Trojan condom company is giving away free samples of its personal vibrating toys at what appear to be hot dog carts in New York city. The company plans to give away 10,000 of its products in the publicity campaign. I hope they have at least some signage that differentiates it from a food vendor, because when you’re hungry for a bratwurst, being handed a vibrator just isn’t going to cut the mustard, and if you’re looking for a free sex toy, being handed a hot dog is going to be disappointing. In related news, the makers of Astroglide plan to replace all of the hand sanitizer dispensers in Times Square with machines that will give out a sample of their product.
- From the “Man of Steel Reserve” Department – A Norwegian man was arrested recently after stumbling around a town dressed in a Superman costume. No word on what the Son of Krypton was drinking, but it had to be some pretty strong stuff. I think I’ll start working a new green cocktail called “Kryptonite Koolaid” which will feature a lot of pure grain and absynthe.
- From the “Wabbit Season” Department – A town in Connecticut has picked a fight with a young girl and her family over her pet rabbit. The city maintains that the enforcement of a minimum acreage requirement for keeping rabbits is an effort to get the girl’s father to clean up his property. The father says that it’s emotional blackmail, but he is willing to fix the things his neighbors are complaining about. The young girl just wants to keep her pet. In related news, a large sack of coal has been sent from the North Pole to the city hall of North Haven.
- From the “Leniency” Department – A Fort Campbell soldier, who went AWOL from his unit and travelled to Fort Hood to kill other soldiers in an act of terrorism, has been convicted and sentenced to life in prison. This poster boy for birth control decided he couldn’t reconcile his Islamic faith with military duty, applied for conscientious objector status, got caught with child pornography, deserted his unit, and plotted to blow up a restaurant with a military clientele. For that, he gets a bed, protection from the elements, all the education he chooses to enjoy, and three meals a day for the rest of his life. Call me crazy, but I think he’s getting off light. If President Bush had had the guts to get a declaration of war in 2001, this piece of filth would be dancing at the end of a rope for desertion in time of war.
News Roundup
Posted by daddybear71 on August 10, 2012
https://daddybearsden.com/2012/08/10/news-roundup-146/
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DaddyBear
DaddyBear’s Den 
Old NFO
/ August 11, 2012Concur on them all and definitely on the last one!
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