- From the “Thuggery” Department – The Justice Department announced today that Gibson Guitars would be allowed to pay a $300,000 bribe, I mean, fine, plus a $50,000 kicker to a conservation fund, to make the investigation into whether or not it preferred to have American workers finish the wood in some of its guitar pieces disappear. Justice Department spokesman Carmine “Knuckles” Maldorone is reported to have said about the deal “We told Gibson they had a nice place, and that we would hate for someone to shut them down. Eventually we were able to come to a mutually beneficial agreement. They give us the money and admit that they could have done more to make sure that American craftsmen didn’t get the jobs, and we agree to stop leaning on them so hard.” No word yet on the location of the youngest daughter of the head of Gibson Guitars, who is making wonderful progress in rehab after suffering two broken kneecaps in a lawn gnome accident.
- From the “Burn in Hell” Department – The print and broadcast media is positively frothing at the wonderful (to them) news that the alleged gunman who murdered six people at a Sikh temple in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, was formerly a member of the United States Army and a skinhead. Of course, they aren’t talking much about how the moron was a piece of crap who got booted after being busted from Sergeant to Specialist for being drunk on duty, and that he’s gone from one dead-end to another for the past 14 years, and that skinhead pieces of crap aren’t welcome in the Army, but that’s to be expected. I’m sure that the next two weeks will be filled with all of the breathless reporting that they can take about this domestic terrorist who learned to kill on the taxpayer’s dime and whose head was filled with all that hate by the evil military machine. Of course, at the same time, Nidal Hasan will be sitting in a jail cell awaiting trial for an act of workplace violence and reporting about how political correctness kept him in the Army and in contact with his victims for several years will be thin on the ground.
- From the “You First” Department – Secretary of State Clinton is telling Kenya that their next election needs to be clean and fair. I’m pretty sure Mrs. Clinton knows clean and fair elections the same way the Supreme Court knows pornography: She can’t define it, but she’ll know it when she sees it. You ever notice you never hear about a Libertarian or even a Republican machine? Why is it that when you say “Boston” or “Chicago” politics, it always means dirty politics from a Democratic machine? Anyway, I hope that the Kenyans look beyond the track record of Mrs. Clinton and half-Kenyan Barack Obama and do have good elections. Someone in this world ought to.
- From the “Bad Idea” Department – Ladies, if you have overcome bulimia, it is not a good idea to shove a butter knife into your gullet to prove you don’t have a gag reflex. Hopefully, this is the lesson learned from the experience of a woman in Atlanta, who did just that and required surgery to remove the flatware. I looked at this as a case of bad luck when I first read the article, but when her husband admitted that this isn’t her first time down this particular road, I just have to assume that she’s not very bright and move on.
- From the “Pissing Contest” Department – Apple Computers is reported to be pulling the built-in YouTube app that has been on its iPhone line since the first model several years ago. Apple and Google have been sniping at each other since Google came out with a competing operating system for tablets and smart phones. Now that the YouTube app is being taken off of the default build for iOS systems, one wonders what will happen to the lucrative baby animal, drunken teenager, and moron on a skateboard video markets.
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News Roundup
Posted by daddybear71 on August 6, 2012
https://daddybearsden.com/2012/08/06/news-roundup-145/
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2 Comments
DaddyBear
DaddyBear’s Den 
Old NFO
/ August 6, 2012Yeah, that second one IS a POS and it’s also been ‘labeled’ domestic terrorism (since he’s a vet)… sigh
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daddybear71
/ August 6, 2012Yeah, I had to do a lot of editing to keep that post PG. That POS is lucky he didn’t survive.
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