- From the “With Friends Like This” Department – The United States has designated Afghanistan as a major ally, which will make it easier to sell weapons and other goods to the Central Asian craphole. Of course, everyone knows that there’s no better strategy for peace than to sell guns and missiles to a country where it’s not uncommon for ‘allied’ soldiers to shoot our soldiers. I mean, it’s not like members of the Bundeswehr haven’t been garotting GI’s for almost 70 years, and everyone knows that sharing a foxhole with a KATUSA is just asking to asking to wake up with a bayonet in your guts. I’m sure the weapons that Afghanistan will be provided under this designation will only be used to maintain and expand peace and security in Afghanistan, and that not a single bullet will be used against our troops.
- From the “You and Me Both, John” Department – John Huntsman, who is rumored to have run for the Republican nomination this year, has announced that he will not be attending any more Republican conventions. He plans to continue his boycott until the party returns to its roots and becomes more than the “We’re just barely less liberal than the other guys” party. I tend to agree. I would like to announce that I will also not be attending the Republican convention this year, and I will continue to absent myself until the party adopts a platform of securing the border, cutting federal spending, and punching hippies.
- From the “Good Idea” Department – The British Department of Education has announced plans for a new test for students in which they will be tested on grammar and language use. Imagine that, the English are proposing a test on the proper use of the Queen’s English. I support this movement by our British cousins and hope that this idea spreads over to this side of the big water. If I had a nickel for every screwed up email I get with people speaking in text, I wouldn’t have to budget for ammunition anymore. I half expect to see a resume written like a text message someday.
- From the “Dead Snake Slithering” Department – A baby in Florida was recently bitten by a small python that had crawled into her apartment. Police believe it is the pet of one of the neighbors, but are still investigating. The tyke is said to be doing well, and the snake has been taken to a pet shelter. If it were my child and I came in to find a two foot snake coiled around her foot and biting, I wouldn’t have needed to call animal control. Rather, I would be going online to search for a good carpet cleaning surface, preferably one with experience in removing reptile entrails out of berber.
- From the “Brain Dead” Department – A Saint Louis man is in custody after he allegedly shot at three boys who were setting off fireworks. One of the boys was hit, but is reported to be doing OK. No news yet on whether or not the moron who is accused of shooting him will be punished in a just manner for his idiocy, by which I mean being suspended head down in a vat of pig waste. People like this make life harder for the rest of us.
News Roundup
Posted by daddybear71 on July 8, 2012
https://daddybearsden.com/2012/07/08/news-roundup-135/
Previous Post
Today’s Earworm
Today’s Earworm
Next Post
30 Days of Marcus Aurelius – Day 4
30 Days of Marcus Aurelius – Day 4
2 Comments
DaddyBear
DaddyBear’s Den 
Steve
/ July 8, 2012■From the “Good Idea” Department – The British Department of Education…..you mean you haven’t received any written like that!?!? My wife runs a community bank, here in Wisconsin, she is considering starting a school for high school graduates. A school on how to function as a human; instead of what society has propagated.
Steve
LikeLike
Steve
/ July 8, 2012■From the “Dead Snake Slithering” Department – A baby in Florida ….I think I would be looking for a website on how to tan snake skin!
Steve
LikeLike