- From the “Silver and Gold” Department – Amateur treasure hunters in England recently found a horde of 30,000 to 50,000 gold and silver coins that date to the period of the Roman invasion. Archaeologists have been able to keep the location of the trove a secret, and continue to excavate it in hopes of learning something new about late Iron-Age Celtic society. Which reminds me. I need to bury a few more jars of pennies in the field behind my house. I do it to mess with 23rd century archaeologists. I would love to read the papers about the ceremonial burial of copper coins, tin foil, and bottle caps in 21st century Kentucky.
- From the “Sinking Ship” Department – A senior official in the Democrat Party has advised some of his brethren who are running for election in close races to not come to the party convention in Charlotte this summer. He maintains it’s to keep them fighting in their districts. My take is that if they’re locked in a tight race, they don’t want to get splashed with any of what’s going to be flying at the convention. Let’s be honest, if you were in a tight race, would you want to have a picture of you fawning over Barack Obama shown to your constituents?
- From the “No Donut” Department – A police officer in Florida was fired for sending text messages that warned a friend that he was about to get raided by the local SWAT team. The friend, who was suspected of being a pimp and is confirmed to be an FBI informant, surrendered later without the drama of a kicked in door and a dead puppy. I think the officer should be given a medal. He may have saved this valuable informant’s life by causing the SWAT raid to not happen. The professional door-kicking, window smashing, grenade throwing operators of Plantation Florida just might have snapped after all of their high-speed, low-drag training paid off in the chance to actually take their M-4’s and balaclavas out of the trunk. In other news, Officer Fife has been given not one, but two .38 Special’s to put in his breast pocket, and criminals throughout the greater Plantation area have reported trouble sleeping due the fear that this engenders.
- From the “Stirring the Pot” Department – Kraft Food’s Oreo cookies are in the center of a crap-storm after an advertisement that seemed to promote gay rights was published. Some people who oppose the message of the advertisement have pitched a fit, and are pledging to never buy Oreo’s again, boycott Kraft products in general, and to not slow down their car if they see an Oreo delivery man crossing the street. I have seen no reports of grandmothers stroking out, heads of little children exploding, or showers of fire and brimstone over the Oreo factories, so I’m guessing this is all a tempest in a teapot. Can’t we all just agree that the cookie part of an Oreo is wonderful, while the filling is too sweet and greasy to be fed to barnyard animals?
News Roundup
Posted by daddybear71 on June 27, 2012
https://daddybearsden.com/2012/06/27/news-roundup-131/
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4 Comments
DaddyBear
DaddyBear’s Den 
Lazy Bike Commuter
/ June 27, 2012I disagree about the cookies.
To quote the philosopher Weird Al Yankovic:
I love the filling most
I rub it on Mt roast
mix it in with my coffee
And spread it on my toast
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bluesun
/ June 27, 2012Yeah, I thought the reason it was good was because it was greasy…
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Corey
/ June 27, 2012I thought I was the only one who buried things in the yard to screw with the future
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Auntie J
/ June 27, 2012Creamsicle Oreos are worth their weight in gold. Just sayin’.
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