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Thoughts on the Day

  • If, while watching the human interest stories on the morning news, the following goes through your mind:  “If you are not going to die, then shut the heck up.  If you are going to die, then please get on with it and let the rest of us enjoy the rest of our lives”, then you can assume it’s going to be one of those days.
  • Giving me a ration of crap because I prefer to make my own coffee rather than drink the free coffee in the break room 15 minutes before you come ask me for a favor shows that you are the biggest optimist in the world, or maybe you’re just thick.  The jury is still out on that one, but it doesn’t look good.
  • Dear software engineers – If you put your software on a given operating system, please take the time to put your bloody programs in the standard places for things such as your latest doodad.  If you do not, you doom me to spending hours searching through multiple directories looking for a @#$!@!@ 25 line script that is used to turn your 1@#$!@# !@#$!2 !@$#!!234!@@$#!1@@!$!@#$! program on and off.
  • Also, the next time you fail to update your documentation for seven revisions of your software, thereby foiling my attempt to not spend hours looking for the aforementioned !@#$!@!@# script, I am going to find you and beat you to death with the leg bone of a Maltese whistling pony.
  • To the Kentucky Transportation Cabinet, I hereby pledge that I will make it my life’s work to destroy your political careers and leave you destitute and friendless in Tibet.  Exactly what were you drinking when you decided to shove all of the traffic that normally gets on two of the three major highways in downtown Louisville onto my route home so that you could spend tax money moving broken concrete from one side of a bridge to another?  I sincerely hope your grandmothers were stuck in traffic with me this evening.
  • Tonight I got through the hardware store in record time, bought only what I had on my list, and escaped after spending only $21.  That’s some kind of personal record.
  • To the young man in the lumber department who caught the 17 2×4’s that I pulled down on myself before they cascaded down on my head and shoulders, thank you.  May your life contain all of the good things that would have otherwise happened to your co-worker who stacked the lumber like that.
  • Someday I will come home, pop open a beer, and sit down to watch televised sports to my hearts content.  Until that day happens, I will have to make do with opening a beer, leaving it in the kitchen, taking care of bath time, and watching Winnie the Pooh before remembering I opened a beer an hour ago.

6 Comments

  1. Auntie J's avatar

    Could be worse. You could have NOT ended your day with Winnie the Pooh. Oh, wait. I’m the one of us who wouldn’t mind that and I still sleep with my Pooh bear…. Probably shouldn’t have confessed that one out loud, eh?

    Um…can I sell tickets to your Maltese whistling pony leg bone whipping? I’ll split the take with you.

    Like

  2. Steve's avatar

    Steve

     /  June 26, 2012

    RE: #2: The guy must be a demoncrat. They are only capable of thinking in the moment. They never seem to remember the crap they heaped in the previous minutes, hours and days.

    Steve

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  3. Old NFO's avatar

    Don’t get me started on warm beers… sigh… BTDT…

    Like

  4. Mad Jack's avatar

    You know, I’m wondering just what kind of immoral fantasy – no, scratch that. Ask yourself what you’ve been up to lately that may have caused you to pop up on Divinity’s RADAR. Don’t write about it! Just adjust your lifestyle a little.

    And by the bye, anyone who gives anyone else a ration of crap about coffee preferences is a neurotic control freak seeking a psychotic break. Seriously, DaddyBear. With all the crap that happens in our daily lives we all have much more important things to do than fuss about coffee.

    Like

  5. A Girl And Her Gun (@agirlandhergun)'s avatar

    So bad day? Hope today was better.

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  6. daddybear71's avatar

    Yes, today was better, thank you.

    Like