The President made an address to the nation today concerning the state of the economy.  Here are some highlights:

• The private sector is doing well.  On an ancillary note, I haven’t seen anything in the press from the President’s last urinalysis.
• The public sector outlook is caca, mostly because of those evil Republicans in the Congress.  I have to agree with the President here.  Most of the public sector is indeed caca.  As for whether or not we need to scrape as much of it from the bottom of the American people’s hiking boots as we can, I think the President and I will have to agree to disagree.
• Seriously, though, I get the impression that Mr. Obama really doesn’t care for Congress.  Maybe Congress got his sister pregnant or something.  It’s funny to me that he’d blame all of the countries economic problems on the Congress, seeing as how his party controls half of it.
• While he’s under there, maybe Harry Reid could check the shocks on the Obama re-election bus.
•  Almost as low as Congress on the Obama like-o-meter is Europe, which is surprising to me.  Didn’t the Europeans pretty much publicly fellate the President after his election?  Heck, they gave him a Nobel Peace Prize before he’d even done anything, and this is the thanks they get?
• The President specifically called for the people of Greece to tighten their belts and accept severe austerity measures for the good of the world economy.  After discussing specific parts of such an austerity program, Mr. Obama briefed the press on his next vacation to the Golden Palace of Presidential Tranquility, during which he will be joined by his family, their Secret Service details, their staffs, their staff’s families, the hookers the Secret Service picked up on their last trip to Thailand, the VD doctor that has been detailed to the presidential Secret Service detail, a tour guide for his children, the keeper and groomer for his dog, the dog, the dog’s playmates from puppy school, and the Queen of Inner Mongolia, who will entertain her hosts with funny tales of growing up poor on the Asian steppes.
• Following his speech, the President fielded questions from the White House press corps.  Questions included what his favorite color is (mauve), how he feels about the pinch hitter (against), his views on puppies and rainbows (for), and what his administration is going to do to alleviate the concerns of the American people about the Fast and Furious gun running debacle.  That last one came from an independent blogger who had snuck past security to get into the briefing room.  After representatives from the “real media” held a beat down upon the interloper, the President answered a question from one of the print journalists about who he thought would win the current season of “Who Wants to Marry the American With Talent Who Survives The Voice and Makes a Deal” by saying that he hoped the best “person of downtrodden class, race, ethnicity, or sexual orientation” wins.