- From the “Gruff” Department – Authorities in Connecticut are trying to figure out where four goats found on the roof of a school came from. Someone needs to tell them that when a daddy goat loves a mommy goat very much, and it’s the daddy goat’s birthday or their anniversary, sometimes they make little goats, and sometimes those little goats grow up to be used as a prop in a pretty good prank. Honestly, their parents should have taken care of this years ago.
- From the “Demolition Derby in Diapers” Department – A two-year-old girl in North Carolina was unharmed after flipping her families SUV. Her parents were asleep at the time, and the little girl apparently found the keys and decided she was going to get her own darn ice cream from the store. No word yet from NASCAR, but rumor has it that one of the major racing teams is going to offer her a scholarship to preschool.
- From the “Integration” Department – Swan keepers in England are scrambling to catch a black Australian swan and are looking to see it has a mate. Worries are that it might harm local cygnets as they hatch out, and a pair might generate a population of foreign wildlife in England’s rather isolated ecosystem. Just another case of the man trying to keep the black swan down, I guess.
- From the “No Sparkling Allowed” Department – Archaeologists in Romania are reporting that about a hundred corpses, some of whom died as recently as a century ago, have been found buried with iron rods driven through their chests. The practice seems to be an effort to make sure that evil people did not return to stalk the land as Nosferatu. That’s funny, I didn’t know my first wife was Romanian, but I distinctly remember her trying to impale me with a crowbar once upon a nightmare.
- From the “Drippy” Department – The founder’s effect of misuse of antibiotics marches on, as public health officials announce that the world is down to one antibiotic to treat gonorrhea. For those of you keeping score, that’s mother nature 1, modern science 0. For those of you who still enjoy the freedom to sleep with whomever you choose, please remember what Captain Condom told us in 1988: Wrap that rascal! An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, and it just might keep your schwanz from running like a faucet and save your female reproductive organs from becoming vestigial.
News Roundup
Posted by daddybear71 on June 7, 2012
https://daddybearsden.com/2012/06/07/news-roundup-124/
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