Here’s a hint that you’re a twit who just needs to stop:

• If you’re wearing faded tiger striped fatigues, because, and I quote here, you just can’t get out of the habit,  and you’re younger than I am.
• If your shopping cart has more beer in it than food, and you complain that there’s not enough room for the bag of diapers your wife wants to get.
• If you’re caucasian, 40-ish, and wearing a flat-brimmed University of Kentucky baseball hat turned 45 degrees off the center line of your face.
• If you are wearing see through clothing to the grocery store, whether or not you are in good shape, regardless of gender.
• If you’re being frog-marched out of Walmart in handcuffs because you got caught shoplifting candy bars again and the manager finally decided enough was enough.
• If you argue with the young man making your sandwich that you should be able to buy a 3 inch sub at half the cost of their six-inch sub.
• If your OCD is so bad that you have to touch every piece of produce in a bin.  That’s OK, I wanted to go to another store to buy tomatoes anyway.
• If you have a bikini/tattoo magazine open across the lap of your little girl in the shopping cart while you’re waiting to check out.
• If you drop your spit cup in the toy section of the department store.
• If you tell your eighth grader that you will sign a permission slip for her first tattoo as a reward for graduating into high school.

I swear I saw or heard every one of these things in a two hour stretch today.  And people wonder why I want to move somewhere where the nearest human being is 10 miles away.