News Roundup

From the “Property Rights or Just A Jerk?” Department – A man in Texas is being investigated for pointing a handgun at a helicopter that was preparing to land on his ranch. The pilot believed he was landing on a National Guard training area, and landed after the accused pointed a gun at him and his passenger. My take – This guy messed up. Unless the pilot was using the tail rotor to try to kill him or damage his property, he wasn’t justified in drawing his pistol, his land or no. Additionally, if he’s not the best pistol shot in the world, hitting a helicopter or its occupants with a pistol shot is a matter of extreme luck. If you’re going to threaten a chopper, you’re going to need something a bit longer and heavier.

From the “Bill of Attainder” Department – Senator Chuck Schumer of New York and Bob Casey of Pennsylvania are proposing a bill that would charge rich Americans who renounce their citizenship to avoid paying high tax rates double the going rate. I think if you’re punitively taxing someone who is trying to avoid our already punitive taxes, you’re kind of missing the point. How about this: The salaries of Senators and Congressmen should be taxed at double either the corporate tax rate or highest personal income tax rate, whichever is greater. That alone might convince them to cut tax rates.

From the “I’ve Been There” Department – A man in Russia had to be rescued from his building’s garbage chute after trying to use it to hide from his girlfriend. That’s funny, I thought my ex’s family was from Poland, not Russia. I’m not admitting anything, but one of my favorite places on earth used to be a rock shelf that was on the opposite side of the mountain above our home in Arizona. Yes, I was basically baking myself in a huge solar oven, but at least it was quiet.

From the “Slow and Steady” Department – The shell and skull of a huge turtle has been found in a coal mine in Colombia. The shell measures 172cm, which is about as big as Girlie Bear. Due to the size of the skull and its jaw, scientists believe the turtle was capable of eating anything that lived in its environment, including crocodiles. So basically, we’re looking at an 8 foot long snapping turtle. Those of you who’ve ever had a snapper come after you, hopefully missing, can imagine what that looked like. I’m just wondering what steaks from an 8 foot long turtle tasted like.

From the “Preventable Condition” Department – A man in Tennessee, who has fathered 30 children with 11 women, is asking the state to help him pay his child support. The state is currently taking half of his pay for child support. To this guy, as a man who has paid child support, all I can is this: My heart bleeds purple panther piss for you, you irresponsible jerk. Don’t come whining to me about how hard it is to pay to feed all 30 of your children when condoms are cheap and vasectomies are affordable. To tell you the truth, we’d all be better off if someone had given your father the same advice about 35 years ago. Get off your butt, get a couple more minimum wage jobs, and take responsiblity for yourself, you waste of of an ovum. Either that or do your kids a favor and walk in front of a speeding train.

From the “Get Thee To A Physician” Department – The CDC is urging all Americans born between 1945 and 1965 to get tested for hepatitis C. Apparently HepC was running rampant among young adults during the 1970’s and 1980’s, and baby boomers might be walking around with the infection of the liver without knowing about it. Getting tested would allow those afflicted with hepatitis to get treated. I urge any of y’all who fit that description to get tested. I need every reader I can get, and sclerosis and liver cancer are ugly ways to go when they can be treated if caught early.

by daddybear71 on May 18, 2012 • Permalink

Posted in news

Posted by daddybear71 on May 18, 2012

https://daddybearsden.com/2012/05/18/news-roundup-119/

DaddyBear’s Den