I’m so hetero, it hurts. I love a good set of breasts and a firm butt like nobody’s business. I also love guns almost as much. Technically more since I can touch someone else’s guns without the Mrs. stabbing me in the neck with a set of poultry shears.

Robb Allen, who may have just proven logically that guns are better than breasts because you can touch guns without someone screaming at you.