Ron Paul – Better the crazy you know
Barack Obama – Are you better off than you were four years ago?
Mitt Romney – I was for socialism before I was against it
Newt Gingrich – Who are you going to believe, me or your lying memory?
Rick Santorum – I have closely held moral values, and soon, so will you
Rick Perry – Johnson, Bush, Perry – There are three good reasons you should vote for me:  I have good hair, I used to fly airplanes, and …. um……