Like a lot of folks, I’ve been watching the Winter Olympics a lot lately.  OK, more than a lot.  As I’ve enjoyed the different events, I’ve wondered how they came to be, and I thought I’d share my research with y’all.

• Cross-Country Skiing – Wow, it’s really snowy, and I’ve got to get over there as quickly as possible.
• Biathlon – Wow, it’s really snowy, and there’s a bunch of people over there that need to be shot.
• Downhill Skiing – I’m at the top of the mountain, and I really need to be at the bottom of the mountain in a few minutes.
• Slalom – Trees!  Trees!  Trees on the mountain!
• Ski Jump – Two Norwegians, a mountain, and a keg of beer all contributed to the inception of this activity, I just know it.
• Snowboarding – Well, there’s too much snow for skateboarding.  What’re we gonna do now, dude?
• Speed Skating – Well, the lake’s frozen, and I really need to be over there then get back here as quickly as possible.
• Short Track Speed Skating – Go fast, lean left.
• Short Track Relay – Go fast, lean left, push on my butt so I can go faster!
• Figure Skating – I feel pretty, oh so pretty!
• Ice Dancing – All the funny clothes of figure skating, without all the grace and jumps
• Bobsled – We’ve got a sled, a steep hill, gravity, and a lot of ice.  Punch it!
• Luge – Bobsled? Wimps.
• Skeleton – Pffft!
• Curling – I really have no idea how this got into the Olympics, but I’m glad it did.  I never realized how hypnotizing this game was when I was little and curling was what people who were too old for hockey did on a Friday night.
• Hockey – Soccer pitch is frozen over.  Well, might as well make the best of it.