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There Oughta Not Be A Law

Some bluntskull in the Northeast decided to get the Charles Darwin Lifetime Achievement Gold Plaque and Souvenir Football Phone the other day, when he turned his cranium from an innie into an outie using commercially available fireworks.  Now that his mother has finished having someone scrape up her son’s gray matter and personal dignity off of the ground, she wants a law, darn it, to keep morons from doing stupid crap with fireworks by making sure that we have to go through a state certified training class, because something something guns something cars.  An anti-firework bottom feeder in the state legislature is oh-so happy to pander to the panic over window-licking 22 year olds putting a lit fireworks mortar on their head, and says that we have to do something for the man-children.

Let’s see….

Over the age of adulthood – Check

Using legal fireworks – Check

Drunk – Probable Check

Yep, it’s a trifecta of bad ideas that coalesced into a cautionary tale that will be quickly held up as shiny to the stupid and then discarded when something newer and just as shiny comes up.

Stupidity is supposed to hurt. In this case it was fatal.

You want a new rule? How about this – Every parent should tell their idiot son to not wear an explosive device like a tophat and try to clown around for his buddies. If you’re not willing to do that, then you’re not serious.

As for “We have to do something”, well, you missed that boat about 15 years ago, pal, when someone should have taken that young man aside and told him School of Cool Rule Number One – Don’t be F…ing stupid.

I’m not blaming the victim. You can’t be a victim of your own stupidity.

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  1. MaddMedic

     /  July 7, 2015

    Here, hold my beer….


  2. My father was the adopted son of a Methodist minister, and his mother worried constantly about “what people will think” (his father, not so much). Consequently, he was forbidden to play with fireworks when e was a boy. By the time he was an adult, the nannies had already started to ban them all over. Father was a scholar by avocation (Professor of the History of Science and Technology) and so tended to need to live in areas with a high pantywaist population. The few times we happened to be in a State that didn’t ban fireworks on the 4th, he took great pleasure in setting some off, less (I think) for the act itself than for the declaration that he was an adult, dammit.

    I don’t think he every forgave the banners.


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