Irish Woman, excitedly showing me the progress she’s made on her bathroom project – Oh! I got you something at $BIGBOXHARDWARE! It’s in my car. Let me run out there and get it.
Me, as I let her get outside of easy striking distance – Is it a blonde? I hope it’s a blonde! The $BIGBOXHARDWARE on the other side of town has a really nice one I’ve had my eye on for a long time.
Irish Woman – What?!?!?!
Fear not, I made my saving throw against death.