- From the “Hand in the Cookie Jar” Department – The FBI is refusing to comment on whether or not it is investigating a United States Senator for going overseas to frequent underage prostitutes. The senator is reported to be shocked that someone would have the temerity to investigate him, and is appalled that someone would dare to question his judgement and good character. Personally, I was impressed with the good senator’s response to the charges. It’s not every man who quotes the Roman emperor Tiberius in a news conference.
- From the “Sad Panda” Department – A federal court has decreed that President Obama’s “recess appointment” of members of the National Labor Relations Board while the Senate was still in session is unconstitutional. I’m shocked that a federal judge would say that the Constitution means what it says. Usually their interpretation is so skewed one way or the other that you’d have thought the Founding Fathers wrote the darn thing in LISP. President Obama is said to be so upset with the decision that he missed three putts and missed par on four holes today.
- From the “Rotary Oscillator” Department – A group in Florida is trying to raise money and awareness of the utility of excrement, in all of its various forms, using a calendar featuring bikini models and piles of feces. Wow. Scantily clad women being covered in waste. Yeah, I got nothing. Anyone else want to take a whack at this one?
- From the “Fondue For Two” Department – Officials in Norway are cleaning up after a truckload of cheese burned for several days after an accident in a tunnel. Luckily, no-one was hurt in the fire, although there are reports of some indigestion after a few firefighters overindulged on pieces of bread on skewers that were dipped into the fiery glop. Cleanup is predicted to take several weeks, and will require the deployment of federal aid in acquiring enough tortilla chips, brocoli florets, and chardonnay. Oh yeah, and lefse. Lots and lots of lefse.
Posted by daddybear71 on January 26, 2013