- From the “Speed Hump” Department – A man in Utah was cited by the authorities after he used a camel as a prop in a stunt to promote his film. Apparently it’s illegal to obstruct traffic while riding a camel in Park City, which is a pretty obscure law to keep on the books if you ask me. Look for his remake of “Ishtar” to hit theaters next summer.
- From the “Sometimes They Write Themselves” Department – The British government has discovered the cause of a noxious odor that has swept the country. It is France. A chemical plant on the French coast had a leak of chemicals the other night, and the plume of vapor it created has made its way across the Channel. The odor is reported to resemble garlic, sweat, and rotten eggs, or as anyone who’s been to France can tell you, it smells like Paris in July.
- From the “Kick the Can” Department – Leadership in the House of Representatives is planning on holding a vote on Wednesday that would suspend enforcement of the current cap on government debt for several months, ostensibly to give lawmakers more time to negotiate a deal on spending and revenue. You know, like the last time we bumped up against the debt ceiling, and the time before that, and the time before that, and the time before that. Honestly, it must be nice to pass a law that is supposed to force you to get your act together, then pass another law that says you can just ignore the other law. Hey, last one out of the economy, please shut off the lights.
- From the “Red Herring” Department – A teenager in New Mexico is being held without bond after killing his parents and younger siblings. Apparently, he had been angry and suicidal for quite some time, and was heavily into violent video games. You know, I grew up playing video games, Dungeons and Dragons, and war games in the woods with my friends. Not once did I ever consider executing my family or killing a bunch of strangers. Now, I’ve played a few of these more modern, more graphically violent video games, and I can see how they might desensitize someone to bloodshed, but I’m not sure they’re the root cause of all this. I hate to use parenting as a crutch, because I tend to keep coming back to it, but if your teenage boy is having emotional problems, wouldn’t you take away the video games? It’s really not that difficult. You tell Precious J. Snowflake “No”, you make it stick, and if they try to go around you, you drop the hammer on them. At the same time, you get them help, be a supportive but firm parent, and find them something constructive to do. Is that so hard?
- From the “Simple Solution” Department – McDonald’s restaurants in Michigan are paying $700,000 to settle a lawsuit over halal meat. Apparently, the restaurants had advertised that their chicken products were halal, but sold non-halal meat when the good stuff ran out. Now, I’m no Islamic scholar, but I’m pretty sure that it doesn’t matter how the animal was killed and processed if it was prepared in a kitchen that is also used to cook bacon. Trust me, there isn’t a molecule of food that comes out of your average McDonald’s that hasn’t come in contact with bacon or bacon grease. Here’s my solution to the problem: If you have dietary restrictions that should preclude you from eating off the standard menu at a restaurant, any restaurant, then STOP EATING THERE! If there are a significant number of people with your need or preference, then someone will catch the hint and provide fare that meets your standards. SuperHugeMegaFoodCorporation probably won’t care about it, but I’m sure that a small business would be more than happy to find a way to accomodate you. Of course, McDonald’s shouldn’t be falsely advertising, but that’s more of a ‘ridicule in public’ thing than a ‘litigate in court’ thing to me. If Soylent McNuggets aren’t halal, tell the imam, publish it in the newsletter, and get on with your life.
Posted by daddybear71 on January 23, 2013