- What a day. I haven’t had this much fun since the day one of my soldiers told me that the rest of the squad was betting him that he couldn’t drink a canteen of diesel fuel and wanted to know if I wanted in on the pool.
- This was the same blunt skull who, when asked by our commanding general if he was OK after she saw the bandage on his head, told her, and I am directly quoting here, “It’s OK, ma’am. Chicks dig scars.”
- He got said head wound because when Sergeant DaddyBear says “Put on your helmet before you put the camouflage spreaders up.”, he means, “Please don’t let the semi-sharp edge of a camo spreader fall on your rather useless brain pan and spray blood all over the side of my track.”
- Honestly, I thought I was a hard drinker when I was a private in Germany. Then I got to Arizona and had to ‘lead’ those rejects. That’s when I learned about real hard drinking.
- I need to start writing down ideas for writing before I take my allergy medicine. When I’m in the shower or on the way to work, I’m writing the Great American Novel. When I take a moment at lunchtime or after dinner to get them down on paper, my head seems to be full of cotton.
- It also doesn’t help that there isn’t room for a laptop and Derby the Wonder Dog to sit in my lap at the same time.
- One good thing about my method for landscaping is that I can solve a lot of problems with post hole mix and a shovel.
- It’s amazing how efficiently the USPS gets a letter to you when you give the sender your correct address.
Posted by daddybear71 on March 27, 2015
Senator Harry Reid of Nevada, current Minority Leader, former Majority Leader, and internationally recognized champion in Olympic pig calling, has announced that he will not seek re-election in 2016. I’d like to thank Senator Reid for his long years of government service, and wish him well as he retires from 32 years in Congress where he accomplished….. Well, there’s that one time he got…. Hmmm, well, as Majority Leader he….. Well, he must have done something to rise through the ranks of his party other than being able to get the people of Nevada to keep re-electing him, and we thank him for that.
Since Mr. Reid is a go-getter kind of guy, I can’t see him joining the rocking chair brigade. Here are some suggestions for what he can do after he leaves Washington:
- Work at the Walmart in Pahrump. However, instead of being a greeter, Harry can stand in front of the checkout lines and prevent shoppers from completing their purchase.
- Join the crew at the Bellagio, where he will spend his time putting dry wall screws into the wheel of fortune and the roulette wheel so that they can’t spin.
- Stand at the top of Hoover Dam and push people over the side just before they finish the tour.
- Earn that NRA rating by traveling to golf courses and shooting the balls just as they make that last chip onto the 18th green.
- Stand on the Las Vegas Strip and hand out “business” cards featuring pictures of his former female Democrat colleagues, including Dianne Feinstein, Hillary Clinton, and Nancy Pelosi.
- Work with the monorail company in Las Vegas to make sure that an efficient, cost-effective, and convenient mass-transit system never extends to McCarran Airport from the Strip.
Anyway, we here at DaddyBear’s Den wish Mr. Reid a pleasant retirement. Thanks for all the blog fodder, Harry!
Posted by daddybear71 on March 27, 2015
Irish Woman saw this commercial the other night and it set her to laughing until she had a stitch in her side.
She says it looks like something we would do. I told her she’d never get that much air. My opinion is that she’d hit me like a line backer trying to knock Troy Aikman out of a playoff game.
Posted by daddybear71 on March 25, 2015
Today, the Army announced that it was charging Bowe Bergdahl with desertion and misbehavior before the enemy. If convicted, he faces life in prison, reduction in rank, and a dishonorable discharge. At first, I was going to rail about how I feel about his guilt in these crimes and the punishment I believe he deserves, but that puts the spotlight right back on Bergdahl. I was going to shout to the mountain tops about the role politics played in his release, but that also detracts from what should be remembered in all this.
This is what we should remember:
SSG Clayton Bowen
PFC Morris Walker
SSG Kurt Curtis
2LT Darryn Andrews
SSG Michael Murphrey
PFC Matthew Martinek
These are the six soldiers who died during the operations that were launched to search for Bergdahl. Can I guarantee that they wouldn’t have been killed had he not walked away from his unit? No, of course not. But he did, and they were killed looking for him.
These are the people I want to hear about. These are the men who deserve the spotlight in all this. These are the soldiers who deserve our attention, not Bergdahl.
Let justice grind him beneath its wheels. I wish him a fair trial and all the justice he can handle. I also hope that he is forgotten, but these men never are.
Posted by daddybear71 on March 25, 2015
Posted by daddybear71 on March 24, 2015
Just a quick follow-up while the antihistamine fog clears in the morning sun.
If you’d like one of the promo codes to get a free download of the Minivandians audiobook, please drop me a line at email@example.com. I forgot to mention that in my earlier post.
I still have lots and lots of semi free ice cream for anyone who wants some, so just drop me an email.
Posted by daddybear71 on March 23, 2015
- Head Cold Bingo Game – Watch Futurama. Every time an obscure science or science fiction reference is made, take a shot of green death NyQuil. Continue until the cartoon looks three dimensional, then take a nap.
- I’m currently working my way through my spring head cold. For those of you who are spared this experience, imagine having a steady trickle of warm jello down the back of your throat, while little elves apply pressure to your joints, and your sense of taste takes a vacation to a gutter in Tegucigalpa.
- I better get extra life points for being polite while another adult let their child lose his damned mind in the waiting room this afternoon. Seriously, when did it become unfashionable to teach children to sit quietly when out in public?
- I know I don’t feel well when I refuse to get into an online discussion about science fiction because I just don’t give enough of a damn right now.
Posted by daddybear71 on March 20, 2015
Well, almost free.
Audible has sent me several codes for a free download of the audiobook for Tales of the Minivandians. Basically, I’ll exchange a free audiobook for an honest review on the Audible website and a little spreading of the word about the book.
So, if you’d like to listen to a 7 hour audiobook, at your own pace, of course, and then tell me where things could be done better, leave a comment. If there are more volunteers than codes, I’ll draw names out of a hat. All I ask is that you put up a review at Audible, good, bad, or indifferent, and tell three people about it.
Posted by daddybear71 on March 18, 2015
Posted by daddybear71 on March 17, 2015
- You’d think that any day where I could say I used a sledge hammer, a hammer drill, and an angle grinder would go into the “Good Day” category, but that just isn’t going to happen.
- Trying to anchor a new mailbox into the footer used by the old mailbox seemed like a good idea at the time.
- If you use very sandy mortar to make the footer for something, I pray that someday a vengeful god strikes you with a case of Filipino Hundred Year Foot Fungus.
- By the end of the day I was trying to figure out if I could make ANFO out of Weed ‘n’ Feed and two cycle oil.
- To whoever is trying to sell a used copy of Minivandians for $62.85, I want to learn your marketing techniques, especially if you are successful.
- To the 10 of you who have bought the audiobook of Minivandians, I’d really like to hear input from you. Did you enjoy the performance? If you also bought and read the book, did the audiobook bring anything new that you enjoyed? As always, any feedback that can be left at either Amazon or Audible would be greatly appreciated, especially if there was something you think could have been done differently or better.
- A wise man once quipped “In vino, veritas”. I’m hoping that I find the next two chapters I’m outlining somewhere in this bottle of red wine.
Posted by daddybear71 on March 15, 2015